Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Gallery: Emotions



This week two of my favourite things in the blog world have joined forces to save the earth make their respective weekly treats even more fabulous. So words and pictures all in one this week. The prompt is Emotions.

Pride


I see the concentration in your face as you look so intently at something trying to work it out. At home with your toys, or out in the pushchair trying to see something that is going on and to understand it. My mum had these Mega Bloks at her house and I saw you pick them up for the first time and just watch us and work it out and start putting them together. That look in your eyes makes my heart fill with pride like a balloon, until it completely fills my chest.

All of a sudden you are able to do things for yourself. Drinking from your own sippy cup. Feeding yourself happily with a "num-num" and a smile. Crawling. Sitting up in your cot, looking at me with those eyes in the morning. Every day you do or learn something new, and I am so very proud of you.

I think that you are extraordinary. Perhaps it is a first child thing, I had no idea what it would be like to watch you grow and change and learn. You can do things that I didn't expect you to be able to do, and it amazes me every day. I can talk about you all day long, and bore everyone senseless but I don't care because to me you are the most wonderful baby in the world. Remember always that I love you, and that I will always be proud of you and every thing you achieve in life.

I am proud of your dad for being there, for being my rock, for the way he is with you. We are the luckiest people alive to have him in our life.

One thing I didn't expect was how proud I would be of myself. For growing you, giving birth, finding the strength to get through the hard times, the trying times, the sleep deprivation, the questioning every thing you do, every decision I make about you. I am proud that I have learnt to step back, take a deep breath and relax. I am proud that I have learnt to trust my instinct, to know that I do know what is good for you, what is best for you, what you need. I am proud that I get to spend time with you, to teach you, to watch you grow. This is the best adventure of my life.

I'm afraid that when you do things that make me proud, it makes me cry. I apologise for the amount of tears now. I will always be an embarrassment. That is what mums are for.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

What I was wearing to CyberMummy


Well, after going to the Minack Theatre last week I was all set with what I was going to wear to CyberMummy. I was thinking the pink was the best choice, complete with the hair.

But today I got a wonderful email informing me that I have been picked as a Keynote Speaker* for the Keynote address at the end of the day. So, back to the drawing board I reckon!



*my heart stopped and I felt like I couldn't breathe, and I fully expect to feel queasy until it is all over at 5pm on Saturday.

What I did on my summer holiday

I took Piran to the beach for the first time ever.


With his Grandma.


We celebrated Father's Day.


I finished the baby blanket.


We spent a lot of time in the sun.


We ate in lovely restaurants.


I started a new blanket.


We messed about on the beach.


We went to the beach on the evening of the longest day.


We walked along the sand.


Paddled in the sea.


I wore a silly hat.


We swam together outside.


We went to the Minack Theatre.


And stared out to sea.

We drank tea.


And I took pictures of the moon.


It was a perfect two weeks.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Halo


Unfortunately I have missed the cut off for the Writing Workshop this week but when I was on holiday and saw one of the prompts was 'Light' I remembered this piece of free writing that I did at a creative writing workshop with the prompt 'Halo' and thought it was applicable. Now I am back from my holiday and we have working wifi again I thought I would post it anyway.

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Halo

Bright, shining pure light. Lighting the way. Many types of light, which do you like? Light can be warm, it can be sharp. It can be bright, it can be harsh. It can heal, it can hurt. It can soothe, it can fill you with joy. It can be many things.

Typically, light is seen as good; and dark, or the absence of light, as bad. But surely this is not always the case? Light can show you things you might not want to see. Light can be all encompassing - showing every flaw, revealing too much, leaving you wishing for shadows.

But light can be hopeful. Like the softness of dawn after the longest, saddest night. Reminding you that the world still turns, that you are not alone as others stir from their sleep and dreams, blinking at the bright new day.

Light can blind, like sun on snow. Lasers can cut. Sun through a magnifying glass can burn ants and grass.

Sun can heal your soul. The feeling of the warmth of spring sunshine on your soul that first new day of the year. That feeling as you close your eyes and inside your head it is no longer black, but gold. Sun on your skin making you feel warm in its embrace.

But the light from the sun can be bad as well. Months of worry that the damage is serious, that you really are sick. Anger that being outside is somehow wrong. Hating the statistics and the pain of yet another operation.

But then there is always the dancing lights of a thousand twinkling fairies at Christmas that make you feel full of joy even though you don't now why. Flickering candles and the warmth and fragrance of Church and carols and human spirit.

And the light of angels and their halos.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

And we're off

Back from holiday, it was simply perfect. I will share more later, but I am trying to get my head around returning to work in a week, and dealing with this:



Oh yes, one crawling baby and two parents who are not quite ready for this!

I apologise for my stupid laughing right in the middle of the clip, what can I say, I am an embarrassment already.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Gallery: Creatures


This week's prompt is 'Creatures'. Last night we went for a simply perfect walk along our favourite beach in the evening. The sun was still high in the sky at 9pm and we paddled in the sea, and walked over the sand. The tide was right out and it was just wonderful. Here are a couple of creatures I spotted in the sand.


Hope you are all well, thank you so much for your comments on my recent posts. I will be back properly next week but for now I am off to enjoy the last few days of my holiday.

CyberMummy meet & greet

Carly over at Mummy's Shoes has come up with a great idea for the CyberMummy attendees to get to know each other a little before the big event next month.



So here is a little bit about me. Please come and say hello if you see me and introduce yourself. I really am quite shy and can often be seen hanging round the edges of conversations, looking like I don't quite fit in! I am quite the chatterer when you get me going though!

Name: Kelly
Blog: A place of my own
Twitter ID: @Kellyfairy
Height: 5 ft 3
Hair: Having it cut on Friday so I will let you know.
Eyes: Brown
Likes:Blogging, Reading, Writing, Thinking, Playing, Laughing, Sleeping, Eating, Drinking, Crocheting, Sewing, Cooking, Baking.
 


(Okay I know it is not the best photo but I will add another one after I have had my hair cut this week!)

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Popping in

I know, I know, I said that I was having a break. I am I swear but I just had to pop in and share two pieces of wonderful news.

Piran is eating. All of a sudden, like a light switched on, he has an appetite and wants proper meals. Now the beauty of baby led weaning is apparent, now he wants the food he is perfectly capable of feeding himself. It is completely and utterly awesome. I will write more about it when I get home but for now I need to get my thinking cap on regarding good lunch time foods he can feed himself (he has what I have for dinner).

Secondly, I received a lovely email from Victoria at Gurgle informing me I have been nominated for an award in the Best Mummy blog writing category at the upcoming Gurgle awards. I am totally blown away by this news, and I don't really know who the other nominees are, I have seen a bit of chatter on twitter but it is all a bit of a blur. Not sure if I will go to the event where they will annpunce the winners as it is in the evening, the same night as CyberMummy. Who knows what I will do (if you have been nominated do let me know, and let me know whether you plan on going) but while I make my mind up why don't you admire my shiny badge.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Gallery: Motherhood


Just taking a quick moment while Piran plays with his Grandma downstairs to post my entry to The Gallery this week. We are having a lovely break so far, the weather is mostly behaving itself and it fills my heart every day to see Piran playing with his family and how much they adore him.

I have spent ages thinking about this week's prompt. I really didn't think that I had the image that encapsulates 'Motherhood' for me. I considered using a picture of my mum, then just one of Piran. I think part of the problem is that this is all still so new to me, I know that there is no way that I can truly understand motherhood at all yet. My mum however, she has been through it all and is just the most wonderful person I know.

But this morning while I was trying to find a photograph of her I remembered a video clip that I have on the computer. I mentioned this video and why I love it so much in my top 5 moments of 2009. When I became a mum it was not all plain sailing (I don't think it is for anyone) but I constantly felt wrong, that I didn't love Piran in the right way, that I didn't feel like I was supposed to feel. Then I saw this video of me playing with him and it all became clear, I was watching a mum playing with her son. Every bit of love I had for him at that moment shines through in my voice, my actions and my face.

So here, thanks to a bit of jiggery pokery is a still picture of Piran and I from that video.


Tara will have the linky up tomorrow. If you don't join in (or if you do) I would recommend checking out the pictures this week, I think it is going to be an amazing one.



Want to know more?

Friday, June 11, 2010

I'm off to build a sandcastle. Back soon.

Can you see my blog header? Well I am off to see that view for real. Back in 2 weeks.

I was planning a 2 week blogging break, but then Tara had to go and make The Gallery extra interesting this month so I will definitely be around mid week.

Have a great weekend folks, I will have a cider / pasty / cream tea for you. Fingers crossed the weather will be nice enough in Cornwall for us to take Piran to the beach for the first time.

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

First Love


I have something a little different than normal for this week's writing workshop. It is a short story that I wrote as my final assessment for my fiction writing course with the OU and as it fit with one of this week's prompts I thought that I would be brave and post it.

The prompt was: Have you ever had a holiday romance? If not, perhaps you’d like to make up a story where you did!

I have been unable to think of a title for this story, so please if you read it can you leave me a title suggestion in the comments? Thank you.

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The sun was already warm against her skin as she wandered down the hill from the rented cottage at the top. She walked quickly, the incline of the slope speeding her progress. All around her were the signs of a town waking up for business, shutters being removed, shopkeepers passing the time of day with neighbours, the smell of fresh bread and coffee starting to fill the air.

Reaching the bottom of the hill, Amy walked through a small alleyway, shivering slightly in the shade. Within moments she was out the other side, the sudden brightness making her squint despite her sunglasses. She crossed the road and stopped when she reached a set of railings. Seaweed covered rocks glistened at the bottom of the wall and yellow sand stretched out until it met the water. The waterline was half way up the beach and she wondered idly if the tide was going in or out. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths of the sea air, tangy with salt and seaweed. She felt the knots in her stomach and her shoulders dissipate with each breath. It was strange to be alone, but it felt good. She had to see these places and come to terms with last summer, and to do that she needed to be by herself. Gripping the cold metal bars of the railings she slid down until she was sat on the wall with her legs dangling over the edge, the bottom railing under her arms. From here she could see the slipway, and the wall that she was leaning against the first day she met James. Her memory added figures to the empty beach before her.

Friday 23rd July 1999. In six days time Amy was turning sixteen and this was the first holiday with her parents that she had been allowed real freedom. For the past three days she had roamed the town, swimming, reading, eating. She was sitting on the beach, leaning against that slipway eating chips when a seagull swooped down and stole her food, landing on her legs leaving big ugly scratch marks and eliciting a scream from Amy. She was examining them when she was suddenly aware that someone was standing above her, blocking the sun.
“Are you okay?” the person asked.
Amy scrambled to her feet, wincing as the scratches on her leg hurt. “I think so,” she said and raised one hand to shield the sun from her eyes so she could see the boy better.
“They are horrible, the seagulls round here. You should probably put something on that.”
Amy nodded absentmindedly as she studied the boy. She seemed unable to speak, and her heart was beating so fast from the fright the seagull had given her but she noticed that he was tanned and had the bluest eyes she had ever seen. He was tall and had messy blonde hair, thick with salt and sand. She thought he was possibly the most attractive boy she had ever seen.
“I’m James by the way,” he said, smiling at her.
“Amy,” she said, grinning shyly back at him.
That was the moment that changed her life forever.

The feeling of the cold stones on the backs of her legs woke Amy from her daydream. Her legs were numb so she pulled herself up and decided to walk round the harbour, past the restaurants, ice cream kiosks and tacky souvenir shops. The boat touts were standing at the top of the jetty, calling out to the passing holidaymakers; “Take a trip to Seal Island, take a trip to see the seals.” As she reached the end of the harbour she turned on instinct into one of many small winding streets, the buildings looking familiar, and she was pleased when the road ended at the bottom of the grassy hill that the locals called ‘The Island’. She walked directly towards the Coastguard’s lookout on the top of the hill, feeling the stretch in muscles that had been dormant for months. At the top she found a gap between the rocks and she scrambled down to the thin dusty path that snaked around the edge of the island. She reached the top of the cliff and lay down, the gentle slope behind her back providing her with the perfect view of the sea stretching out in front of her eyes. She closed her eyes and surrendered herself to the torrent of memories that threatened to engulf her.

Lying in the grass side-by-side, holding hands. The warmth of the sun of her face, bright kaleidoscope lights dancing behind closed eyes. Warm, kisses on tight salty skin. The intoxicating feeling of wanting to know everything about one person. Becoming firm friends, and more, in the strange, accelerated way that happens when you are both on holiday. Thinking of someone from the moment that you wake until the moment that you sleep at night. Day to day detail forgotten in the sharing of hopes and dreams. Fun and laughter. Days spent together exploring in the sunshine. Time flying past and stretching luxuriously at the same time. The feeling that you have met the one person that understands you. Crazy thoughts of love and butterflies of attraction.

Amy sat up. Last summer had been all about sensation. The cold bite of seawater as they paddled in the shallows. Barefoot on warm soft sand, the pinch of limpet-encrusted rocks as they clambered about. Drinking ice-cold pop and eating steaming hot chips. The tickle of grass beneath bare legs as they watched fluffy white clouds dance across the sky above. Laughing so hard together until their muscles ached and tears rolled down their cheeks. She could not imagine being able to feel any of that anymore. She was not the same person she was last year. This was not the same body she was discovering back then.

Finding her way down the uneven steps to the beach she headed down to the firmer wet sand. She realised that the tide had been on its way out this morning as she noticed the stretch of beach now exposed. Time was passing and she shouldn’t be out too long, her parents would worry and that wasn’t fair on them. There was one more place she had to visit though.

At the far end of the beach there was evidence of campfires in the sand and she wondered whether she would have known any of the people that lit this fire and enjoyed its warmth as she had done the year before. Had he been here? Had he had returned this year, would he come back to this spot as she had, to remember? It had been her sixteenth birthday, and after thanking her parents for her birthday meal and promising to be back by midnight she had walked down the beach towards the campfire, her eyes searching through the silhouettes until she found his shape, unmistakable to her already. Her heart and stomach had fluttered as she reached the group and he smiled to see her. That evening she felt freer than ever in her life. Listening to people sing and play guitar, the warmth in her chest of shared blackberry wine drunk straight from the bottle. She had felt like she could be anyone she wanted to be.

Collapsing onto her knees in the sand she cried the tears that had been so long coming. She cried for the girl she had been then, so full of possibility. She cried at the memory of lying in the sand, her head in his lap, his hands stroking her hair. Of being wrapped up in his jumper taking his warmth and scent and breathing it in. She cried for how she had felt later in his arms on a blanket under the stars, complete, the fear of her first time dissipated into the warm summer air. Of the happiness that had flowed from every pore as they made plans for the following day, punctuated with kisses, stood outside her door seconds before curfew. She cried hardest for her brother's accident, the cruel twist of fate that had caused her parents to tear her from her perfect dreams and warm bed early the next morning and bundle her into the car, with no time to see him or tell him that she had to go. No time to give him her address and telephone number or to get his.

Eventually, she had no tears left and she picked herself up out of the sand. He was not here, and would probably never be again. He would have marked it down to a holiday romance that had finished with no explanation and got on with life. She could never forget that summer, but it was time to move on and come to terms with what had happened. Would he even recognise her if he were here? She didn’t feel anything like that girl anymore, and she knew she looked different too.

Her parents were in the small courtyard garden when she got back. Her mum smiled at her with such compassion in her eyes that Amy was scared that she would start to cry again. Bending down she kissed her mother’s cheek and lifted the small three-month-old baby from its Grandmother’s arms and buried her face into the crease of his neck. The velvet skin, warm baby smell and the tickle of his soft hair on her cheek washed away all of the tears and the pain and as she gazed into the startling blue of his eyes she let the love she felt for her son take its place.

The beauty is in the details

Tara is on holiday this week so The Gallery has a break also. I wanted to do something this week so I went out into our garden and tried to find the beauty in the detail.


I think I succeeded.

Monday, June 07, 2010

Dreaming of beautiful things

I have a problem. A virtual window shopping problem. I can spend hours and hours online, looking at things I would love to own, to have in my house, popping them into my shopping basket. Thinking about things that would go together. Thinking of different shops, having many windows open all at once, baskets overflowing with beautiful wonderful things. This week I have a new discovery to feed my habit, CSN stores. They have some great online stores where you can find everything from lighting to furniture to cookware. I am particularly lusting over some kitchen goodies.*


Luckily for me I am very restrained and I am happy to close down all windows with the click of a button and go to bed to dream of the beautiful things I would have in my perfect house.

*Which the nice people at CSN stores have agreed to let me have to review. Watch this space!
**This is not my kitchen. I can only dream.

I was provided with a gift voucher for writing this post. You can see the items I chose and my review here.

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Messy Play by Huggies® Wipes Blogger Challenge

 Never one to ignore a good old challenge here is my entry for the messy play challenge (details below). Not so much play, as dinner, but as we know the Baby Led Weaning mantra - "Food for under ones is just for fun" - says, dinner is fun!


Piran's first taste of spaghetti bolognese!


Messy Play by Huggies® Wipes Blogger Challenge 

Inspired by some of the Huggies® mums recent posts, Huggies® Baby Wipes wants to see your photos of your little ones really getting messy. Child psychologist Janine Spencer says, “Giving children the freedom to play messily helps them develop their imagination and social skills. It boosts their confidence and helps them understand the world around them. That’s a small price to pay for a bit of mess.”

So, here’s the brief, post the messiest photos of your little one to your blog anytime between May 18th and July 14th. Any type of photo will do – your baby getting messy in dirt, paint, food, whatever. Huggies® will then create a list of links to all the blog posts of babies getting messy on mum blogs around the web. 

  1. The messier your baby is in the photo the better. (The challenge is cleaning up!)
  2. Post the photo to your blog with The Messy Play by Huggies Wipes challenge. (It can be an old photo or a previous post).
  3. Send a link of your blog post featuring your Messy Play photo to @Huggies_UK on Twitter or online.team@Huggies.com to participate.
  4. Check out http://www.flickr.com/photos/messyplaybyhuggieswipes/ to see all the blogger submissions and links to their blogs. Submissions will also be shouted out by @Huggies_UK on Twitter.
  5. The top 3 messiest entries will receive Huggies® gift packs of Huggies merchandise.

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

The Gallery: Still Life


The theme this week is still life. I couldn't pick between these two photographs so I am using both.

Magic




A magical boat shed hidden on the edge of the moat around a ruined castle.

Beauty


Flowers bringing warmth and sunshine despite a very grey and dull day.

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Wonderful Weekend

I had a really nice bank holiday weekend. On Saturday we got up relatively early, had a big breakfast and then jumped in the car and went to Scotney Castle, a National Trust place just over the Kent / East Sussex border.


I had visited a few weeks ago with Mum, but wanted to go back at this time of year as the Rhododendrons would be out. Quite a few were and it was fabulous. A grey morning, but we managed to get around before the heavens opened and we had to drive into the cafe for shelter and a cream tea (what a shame).


I love to take pictures of flowers, I could do it all day, but unfortunately the camera battery went. I did manage to get some shots before, but I was gutted as there were some amazing alliums and irises that would have made wonderful pictures.


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I experienced 'Pester Power' for the first time this weekend. Not from Piran however, but from my Mum. We were out with them for the day (a bonus, they were visiting family down the coast and we met in the middle at the Amberley Working Museum) and it started off with a very innocent "What would you like us to get Piran for his birthday?" and when I asked her for money for the present we had decided on she then went on to tell me of this wonderful drum she had seen. Throughout the day she would say things to Piran like "You would love a drum wouldn't you?" or start telling me about the drum, or mention in passing that it wasn't a very loud drum. This went on all day until I snapped and told her that if she wanted to she could get Piran the drum as long as she stopped talking about it.

I am doomed when Piran is older.

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I have had a lovely weekend doing more and more crochet. I have two projects on the go. My crocheting isn't too bad, but I am not very good at joining or ending rows so some bits are a bit scruffy. I have been completely inspired by Attic 24 and I my favourite new project is a Granny Stripes blanket. I am starting small with a cot sized version in pale pinks and creams for my new niece Ruby.



The photos are not brilliant as I took them on my iPhone but I am whizzing along the rows and the edges are not too bad. I am definitely preferring crochet to knitting and now I have the hang of it I am quite obsessed! I really want to start making beautiful, vibrant, colourful things for myself but I have started out with my usual safe colours and when I feel more confident (and get some brighter yarn) then I can move on to bigger and brighter things. Watch this space.

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Piran has a cold. He must be under the weather, he got up at 5am, sneezed, had a bottle of milk and slept until I got him up for swimming at 9.15. I put him back down for a nap at 12 and he is still asleep now at 2.20. Poor little mite. I will go and check on him now I guess. Don't want to disturb him if he needs the sleep but also don't want him to sleep too much and not sleep tonight.