Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Our Garden
It has been longer than I care to remember since I actually joined in with a writing workshop. I think that I stopped when I was in the middle of my OU course (Start Fiction Writing), when writing became harder, a struggle. I hated feeling like I had to be creative and write on demand. I don't think I will be doing any further courses like that with the OU in the near future.
I feel like writing today though, so the workshop was perfectly timed! Plus, there was a twist this week which has made it interesting. Josie has given us 5 words or phrases to pick from, the we have to make up our own prompt, and then write our own post. I chose: In the Garden
My prompt is:
Tell me all about your garden, how do you use it? What is it like? What do you like about it?
It is early. Very early. I feel like the only person awake. I slide the door open as quietly as I can and step out into the bright sunshine. The sky is a perfect blue and I squint in the early morning sun. Steam rises from the mug clasped within my hands and dances in the chill of the early morning air. I breathe deeply and feel the veils of sleep lift from my mind and my thoughts turn to the day ahead. I perch on a chair and make plans as I warm myself by sipping my tea. I listen to chattering birds singing songs to each other. I savor every precious moment of being alone.
It is warm. I have laid the blanket on the grass and scattered toys across it. I have arranged the furniture so that the umbrella casts a large enough shadow. The birds are still here, but their singing is matched by Piran's constant chatter. I watch a cat make its slow and steady way along the top of our fence. I have a book but I am distracted by the sight of my son playing. I sip an ice cold drink and we share an apple. I try to convince Piran that he must wear his hat. It is hot and I slip from the chair to the relief of the shade that cover the blanket. Piran passes me toys and I drive cars up his back and down his belly making him laugh. I tickle his bare legs and feet and try and steal a sneaky cuddle. The sun rises until it is right ahead and the shade disappears so we head inside for lunch.
The day has stretched onwards and it is late afternoon. There is shade again, if I move things round a little. I have given Piran a bowl of water and he is splashing and taking his balls out and rolling them in the grass. I run around barefoot, enjoying the feeling of grass on the soles of my feet. I blow bubbles into the air and Piran watches them fly past him. He laughs and splashes more. He sings to himself, lost in his own game as I wander between the raised beds, stealing lettuce and spinach leaves to eat. I pick vegetables and herbs for dinner, inhaling the sweet scent of earth. We listen for the sound of the front door, heralding our favourite time of day, when Mr C comes home.
It is evening. The smell of barbecues fills the air from the gardens around us. The light is lengthening, Mr C is tending to his plants, watering and checking that they are all okay. Two cold glasses of wine rest together on the table. I look up from the book that I am reading to watch the swallows that drive and swoop over the roof, their beauty and grace a joy to behold. We chatter softly, sharing the details of our day. I pull on a cardigan and lose myself in my book, the glass of wine disappearing as the pages pass. As the light goes so do we, inside to cuddle together on the sofa and finish a wonderful day.
Labels:
Garden,
Mr C,
Photographs,
Piran,
Writing workshop
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
The Gallery: Friendship
The theme for this week's gallery is Friendship. I had mixed feelings about this one. I have some great friends in my life, some that I see every week, some that I only see when I am home in Cornwall, some that live locally but we don't seem to get time to spend together, some that live in other places that I try and see when I can.
I would have loved to post a picture of me and my sister, because she will always be there for me. But the best one I have she was 40 weeks pregnant and would probably kill me if I posted it. I don't have enough pictures of us together, I will fix that soon.
I wanted a picture of my friend Em, who I can only see when I am home, but who I just pick up with as if the last cuppa we shared was yesterday. I have one of her and her son, but not one of us together. I must fix that too.
The issue is, that people that know me don't really know about this bit of the internet. So, I worry a bit about posting pictures of people without their consent, but I can't ask their consent without giving the game away, if you see what I mean. Therefore:
Disclaimer: If you are in these photos, and you are not happy about me putting them online give me a call and let me know.
Here are two photos of me and my friends. The first is from my hen weekend, or The Wonky Duck Do as it was known. Good food, great friends, strong cocktails and a great deal of silliness. Oh and hats.
Yep, that's me in the middle dressed as a ladybird / penguin and wearing a sash. Nope, I'm not sure either.
The second photo is taken two weeks later at my wedding. Something made us laugh. Not the most flattering picture of us that day but it reminds me it was a day full of fun, friends, family and laughter.
Labels:
Photographs,
The Gallery
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Catching up
Another week has disappeared and there seems to have been very little in the way of blogging time. The reason is that I have been teaching myself to crochet and as usual with me I am obsessed with my new project, so much so that I dream about it! Crazy.
So, there were two things that I really wanted to blog about this week. The first was this:
Unless you have been under a rock, or perhaps away from a computer having a life (eh? what?) you must have heard about The MADS. After a wonderful month of nominations (if you nominated me, thank you - it gave me such a warm fuzzy feeling inside) the finalists have been announced. I had fun checking out the blogs I had not heard of and deciding who to vote for. If you haven't I really suggest that you do so too!
The reason for this post is that in September there is a shiny awards ceremony for all of the finalists and the wonderful bloggers behind it all. Now, there are 5 'golden tickets' to be won, and well, I want to win one! Lots of my favourite bloggers and friends will be there and I cannot think of anything I would rather do that watch their talent be recognised, have a drink and enjoy myself, safe in the knowledge that I will not be winning / losing so I can relax!
As you may see from the button in my sidebar, I have been lucky enough to be invited to be a 'Huggies Mum'. On Tuesday you may have seen details of my trip to London to meet some of these wonderful bloggers (wow, they are real people. It is so great to meet the friends I have made online).
This is a new thing, and we are still working out what it means to be a Huggies mum. We are not paid, and we don't have to write great things about Huggies. But, if we want to they will provide opportunities for us to meet each other, discuss being parents and parent bloggers. We will be invited to Huggies events and be kept up to date on products and events that Huggies are holding. I am so very excited that they offered to sponsor me, for CyberMummy as well.
If you have a moment check out the blogs of the other Huggies Mums:
So, there were two things that I really wanted to blog about this week. The first was this:
Unless you have been under a rock, or perhaps away from a computer having a life (eh? what?) you must have heard about The MADS. After a wonderful month of nominations (if you nominated me, thank you - it gave me such a warm fuzzy feeling inside) the finalists have been announced. I had fun checking out the blogs I had not heard of and deciding who to vote for. If you haven't I really suggest that you do so too!
The reason for this post is that in September there is a shiny awards ceremony for all of the finalists and the wonderful bloggers behind it all. Now, there are 5 'golden tickets' to be won, and well, I want to win one! Lots of my favourite bloggers and friends will be there and I cannot think of anything I would rather do that watch their talent be recognised, have a drink and enjoy myself, safe in the knowledge that I will not be winning / losing so I can relax!
As you may see from the button in my sidebar, I have been lucky enough to be invited to be a 'Huggies Mum'. On Tuesday you may have seen details of my trip to London to meet some of these wonderful bloggers (wow, they are real people. It is so great to meet the friends I have made online).
This is a new thing, and we are still working out what it means to be a Huggies mum. We are not paid, and we don't have to write great things about Huggies. But, if we want to they will provide opportunities for us to meet each other, discuss being parents and parent bloggers. We will be invited to Huggies events and be kept up to date on products and events that Huggies are holding. I am so very excited that they offered to sponsor me, for CyberMummy as well.
If you have a moment check out the blogs of the other Huggies Mums:
Labels:
CyberMummy,
Huggies,
MADS
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
The Gallery: Self Portrait
Today I am exhausted.
Today I can list a thousand of my flaws in an instant.
Today I feel frumpy and unattractive.
Today I have cried more than I should.
Today I feel like I'm not cut out to be a mama.
Today I don't want to have my photo taken.

Today I'm posting this picture anyway, for the son and the husband who love me unconditionally no matter what type of today I'm having.
The reason that I really wanted to join in this week, despite how I am feeling today, was the reason that Tara gave for picking this week's theme of 'Self Portrait':
The theme is actually inspired by Laura at Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy who wrote something that really touched me a few weeks ago and I want to 'celebrate' it through The Gallery.
On tenterhooks yet?
She wrote about photographs of her mum, who died when Laura was just 9.
For someone who has been voted in the Funnest Blog category of The MADS, she sure made me catch my breath with that post!
She wrote: "Luckily I have photos, quite a few in fact. I don’t just look at the photos, I pore over them I wonder what she was thinking, doing, wearing … just any glimpse of anything that makes me feel a bit closer to her.
Now that I am a mother they mean even more to me . . . "
And then on the same post, Mrs W commented: "This is the post that every one of us who has spent years avoiding having our photo taken should read. I’m striving to redress that little phobia – we all should."
Well, I'm going someway to help redress that balance today.
Imagine in years to come, your children looking back over photographs of their childhood. Are you in it? Are you always behind the camera?
Our photographs are the story of our lives, and even if you aren't a parent you need to be in it.
I know many many people hate pictures of themselves - myself included - so if you don't want to post one to your blog just think about what I've said and start making that change.
And if you do want to put one on your blog, then GREAT.
Get creative, and show us all who you are.
Today I can list a thousand of my flaws in an instant.
Today I feel frumpy and unattractive.
Today I have cried more than I should.
Today I feel like I'm not cut out to be a mama.
Today I don't want to have my photo taken.

Today I'm posting this picture anyway, for the son and the husband who love me unconditionally no matter what type of today I'm having.
The reason that I really wanted to join in this week, despite how I am feeling today, was the reason that Tara gave for picking this week's theme of 'Self Portrait':
The theme is actually inspired by Laura at Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy who wrote something that really touched me a few weeks ago and I want to 'celebrate' it through The Gallery.
On tenterhooks yet?
She wrote about photographs of her mum, who died when Laura was just 9.
For someone who has been voted in the Funnest Blog category of The MADS, she sure made me catch my breath with that post!
She wrote: "Luckily I have photos, quite a few in fact. I don’t just look at the photos, I pore over them I wonder what she was thinking, doing, wearing … just any glimpse of anything that makes me feel a bit closer to her.
Now that I am a mother they mean even more to me . . . "
And then on the same post, Mrs W commented: "This is the post that every one of us who has spent years avoiding having our photo taken should read. I’m striving to redress that little phobia – we all should."
Well, I'm going someway to help redress that balance today.
Imagine in years to come, your children looking back over photographs of their childhood. Are you in it? Are you always behind the camera?
Our photographs are the story of our lives, and even if you aren't a parent you need to be in it.
I know many many people hate pictures of themselves - myself included - so if you don't want to post one to your blog just think about what I've said and start making that change.
And if you do want to put one on your blog, then GREAT.
Get creative, and show us all who you are.
Labels:
Me,
Photographs,
The Gallery
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Review & Giveaway - Plum baby food
Initial thoughts: The nice people at Plum sent me some baby food to try. Well, for Piran obviously! They kindly sent me some Spelt Fingers in two flavours - pomegranate and apple. They also sent me some fruit pouches to try. Piran will only eat food that he can hold himself and bite off so I was concerned whether there would be anything suitable.
We liked: The spelt fingers seemed to go down well. Piran would happily tuck into one as a snack. I think he preferred the apple to the pomegranate but he ate both so that could just be down to appetite on a particular day. The biscuits were manageable for a little guy with a few teeth but not so soft that they fell apart when he held them in his hands. I also liked the fact that they used the heritage grain spelt as an ingredient - it was unusual and interesting.
We didn't like: The pouches of fruit puree were no good for Piran as he will not even dip a biscuit in it to eat so I gave them to a friend. However, I watched her 6 month old get through an entire Apple & Blackberry pouch so it seemed to be a hit. My only issue I have is that I wish that there were more options available for parents who choose to go down the baby led weaning route than just biscuits.
Overall: The spelt fingers were a hit with Piran, easy for him to hold and eat. They were also a hit with me as they are made with organic ingredients with no added nasties and sweetened with spelt syrup so no refined sugars. I love the way that they came in a handy pack of two biscuits wrapped together - perfect for popping into my bag for snack emergencies!
We liked: The spelt fingers seemed to go down well. Piran would happily tuck into one as a snack. I think he preferred the apple to the pomegranate but he ate both so that could just be down to appetite on a particular day. The biscuits were manageable for a little guy with a few teeth but not so soft that they fell apart when he held them in his hands. I also liked the fact that they used the heritage grain spelt as an ingredient - it was unusual and interesting.
We didn't like: The pouches of fruit puree were no good for Piran as he will not even dip a biscuit in it to eat so I gave them to a friend. However, I watched her 6 month old get through an entire Apple & Blackberry pouch so it seemed to be a hit. My only issue I have is that I wish that there were more options available for parents who choose to go down the baby led weaning route than just biscuits.
Overall: The spelt fingers were a hit with Piran, easy for him to hold and eat. They were also a hit with me as they are made with organic ingredients with no added nasties and sweetened with spelt syrup so no refined sugars. I love the way that they came in a handy pack of two biscuits wrapped together - perfect for popping into my bag for snack emergencies!
Giveaway: The folks over at Plum Baby have given me one month’s supply of baby food, nibbles and treats to give to one lucky reader.
Plum Baby is all about real food for babies and not just baby food and all the products are made with the highest quality organic ingredients. They offer babies a taste of what’s to come and are full of nutrients and nothing artificial.
The prize includes: breakfast cereals and mueslis, savoury pots, sweet pouches, yummy spelt biscuits and sauces – worth £75.00 and the winner will receive the pack most appropriate for their babies age.
To enter, simply go to the Plum Baby newsletter (http://www.plum-baby.co.uk/plum-mums/plum-mums-sign-up) and sign up using the code “a place of my own” - a winner will be picked at random in 7 days time.
Check out www.Plum-Baby.co.uk and discover more yummy products from the Plum Kitchen.
Please note the giveaway is being managed by Plum and the prizes will be sent to you by them. I know that there have been a number of giveaways for Plum baby food over the past few weeks but I have checked with the lovely people at Plum and you are eligible to enter more than one giveaway so give it a try!
Disclaimer: I was sent free samples of the food for Piran to try for the purpose of this review.
Please note the giveaway is being managed by Plum and the prizes will be sent to you by them. I know that there have been a number of giveaways for Plum baby food over the past few weeks but I have checked with the lovely people at Plum and you are eligible to enter more than one giveaway so give it a try!
Disclaimer: I was sent free samples of the food for Piran to try for the purpose of this review.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Again
Today I freaked out. I was exhausted and the house was a mess and I still felt ill and couldn't do anything without getting wheezy and the carpet was dirty and there was mud all over the house and the washing was still in the tumble dryer from yesterday and the dirty dishes were piling up and there was stuff on every single surface that I could see and I couldn't even get the hoover out of the cupboard because it was so full of stuff and I opened every cupboard in every room to try and put something away but there was not a single space and I just moved things around and didn't make a difference and Mr C called to say that he had a meeting that would go on late tonight and that meant my planned night out was off but I couldn't even care because there was this pain in my chest and I was panicking and wanted to hide or I wanted to cry or I wanted to run away. Thankfully Piran was with his Nan.
I sat on the sofa on the phone to Mr C and just cried. I ranted about all of the things above, and the fact that there is so much stuff of Piran's that we don't use or he has grown out of but that I don't want to give away or sell because I want another baby in the near future so that would be silly but the house is fit to burst.
I said that all I wanted was for someone to give me a nice, organised house that had a place for everything, I promise that I would keep it tidy and clean.
When I feel like this, when all of these thoughts crowd into my brain I just shut down. As the panic increases I slow down. The most I can do is sit on the sofa and watch television. I can shut out the guilt, I can start to breathe again. So long as I don't take my eyes of the screen. Sleeping works usually too, but despite the fact I have been up since 4am I just couldn't do it.
I sat on the floor and stared at the carpet. It really was dirty. Perhaps I could just hoover the carpet downstairs? If I just did that I would have accomplished something today. I went to get the hoover out and started to get distracted by moving stuff in the cupboard about. I realised what I was doing and stopped. I slowly and carefully hoovered the carpets downstairs, moving things, putting them back.
I realised that if I concentrated on one thing I didn't panic. I didn't get overwhelmed.
So this afternoon I slowly put one thing away at a time. If I tried to pick up two things I stopped. I would take one thing, put it away and then looked around for the next thing. I managed to tidy the front room and the hallway. I even dusted.
I don't know why I have written this down. Perhaps the next time I have a day like this I can read it again and remember that by just focusing on one thing I can get over these feelings. These days are not new to me, although the added exhaustion of being a parent adds a new dimension. I feel like they come more often than they used to, but I can't really be sure that is the truth. Every week there seems to be a reason why I do not feel 'right'. I am frustrated. I have everything I ever wanted but I don't seem to be able to get away from these old feelings, the old patterns. I want to be a happy, fun mum. I want to count my blessings every day. I want to enjoy the life we have made for ourselves.
I sat on the sofa on the phone to Mr C and just cried. I ranted about all of the things above, and the fact that there is so much stuff of Piran's that we don't use or he has grown out of but that I don't want to give away or sell because I want another baby in the near future so that would be silly but the house is fit to burst.
I said that all I wanted was for someone to give me a nice, organised house that had a place for everything, I promise that I would keep it tidy and clean.
When I feel like this, when all of these thoughts crowd into my brain I just shut down. As the panic increases I slow down. The most I can do is sit on the sofa and watch television. I can shut out the guilt, I can start to breathe again. So long as I don't take my eyes of the screen. Sleeping works usually too, but despite the fact I have been up since 4am I just couldn't do it.
I sat on the floor and stared at the carpet. It really was dirty. Perhaps I could just hoover the carpet downstairs? If I just did that I would have accomplished something today. I went to get the hoover out and started to get distracted by moving stuff in the cupboard about. I realised what I was doing and stopped. I slowly and carefully hoovered the carpets downstairs, moving things, putting them back.
I realised that if I concentrated on one thing I didn't panic. I didn't get overwhelmed.
So this afternoon I slowly put one thing away at a time. If I tried to pick up two things I stopped. I would take one thing, put it away and then looked around for the next thing. I managed to tidy the front room and the hallway. I even dusted.
I don't know why I have written this down. Perhaps the next time I have a day like this I can read it again and remember that by just focusing on one thing I can get over these feelings. These days are not new to me, although the added exhaustion of being a parent adds a new dimension. I feel like they come more often than they used to, but I can't really be sure that is the truth. Every week there seems to be a reason why I do not feel 'right'. I am frustrated. I have everything I ever wanted but I don't seem to be able to get away from these old feelings, the old patterns. I want to be a happy, fun mum. I want to count my blessings every day. I want to enjoy the life we have made for ourselves.
Labels:
Depression,
Home,
Panic attacks
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
The Gallery: Men
This week the theme is 'Men'. This was the first picture that popped to mind. Taken on my iPhone, in bad lighting it isn't the best photograph ever, but if you had asked me to draw a picture of my dreams a few years ago, this would have been it.
My amazing husband, Mr C. The best man in the world to me.
My sweet baby boy. I wonder what type of man he will grow to be?
Labels:
Family,
Mr C,
Photographs,
Piran,
The Gallery
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
British Mummy Bloggers 'Karaoke' Carnival
Ladies and gentlemen, we are taking some time out of our usual day to day lives to have a fun filled evening of karaoke. We have some wonderful bloggers joining us, so grab a drink, have a think about what you might like to sing and enjoy the show.
It is only fair, as this is my idea that I embarrass myself terribly first. So I am channeling my inner-Dolly and belting out Nine to Five for your pleasure. Apologies for the bad singing, Piran loves it!
Next up is Julia, she is taking her son, and the audience on a Magical Mystery Tour. Sounds idyllic to me.
MTJAM has decided to pick a less known hit, Run Chicken, Run by the Felice Brothers. Can't say I have heard of this one either, but it's the way she
We have a blast from the past from Hot Cross Mum with her remix of Everybody's Free (to wear sunscreen). Ah this takes me back! Some great advice for mothers too.
Time to refill those cocktails and take a moment to reflect during Jennifer's rendition of the well known tear-jerker Everybody Hurts,
Another quieter, reflective moment from Rebecca and the Eurythmics hit Here comes the rain again. Please pop by and lend you ear or some words of support or wisdom.
Something a little different from Ellen for the moment - a rendition of the rhyme "What are little boys made of?" Snips and snails and puppy dog tails it seems. Now I know what I am in for!
Vicky is sharing the Eagles song, New Kid in Town. What do you think a new person in town with kids needs to find?
Time to liven us all up again. I think Jo singing My Way will be just the thing to get us all joining in! Consistent single parenting is the key. Mind you., I'd love Weetos for dinner.
21st Century Mum is off on holiday but is leaving something behind. Does her choice of Everything But The Girl give you a clue?
Gosh, it seems Liz is taking this whole thing very seriously. She seems to have arrived in a pair of dungarees and a jacket with scary shoulder pads to sing Dedicated Follower of Fashion. What were your fashion mistakes?
Pippa is loving her birthday and there are very few tears as she grabs the mike to belt out It's my party (and I'll cry if I want to).
Young Mummy has had a startling realisation that took her breath away, her babies are going to grow up. She's working it all out singing Kids. As I remember this was a duet, I am sure Young Daddy could join in.
American Mom in England is reliving the past with Marry Me. I must admit I hadn't heard of this song before, but what great lyrics and a greater story.
Becky is sharing with us John Lennon's Love (her wedding song), and all the things she loves about being a mum living in the UK.
Our very own Modern Mother, Susanna is raising the roof with her hit from the musical Annie. The sun will come out tomorrow. Next time your travel plans are interrupted by a little volcano think about her ancestors - their return from holiday was delayed by six years.
Sandy is on the stage and treating us all to Good Enough. I am sure her singing will put mine to shame, she really does this for fun. I am sure Sandy is way more than good enough.
The Ambitious Mamas are giving most of us a glimpse of the future with She's Leaving Home.
This is one to get us all out of our seats and bopping about. One More Time from Make Do Mum. How long after the first baby until you think about trying for the second one?
Michelle is celebrating the wonder of twins with It Takes Two Baby. A heartwarming post with beautiful pictures.
Fun with the children and one that we can all sing along to. cathy from Nuture Store is next with I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles.
It's a Mummy's Life is taking it down a notch and treating us to some Pink Floyd. While she sings Set the controls for the heart of the sun lets all remember to stop and notice those moments of perfection.
It is potty training over at Diary of a Surprise Mum so there can only be one song choice - Skip to the loo!
Cartside is here and making me long to be a child again with her post about an outdoor nursery. Sounds like so much fun. Wild Wood is the perfect song choice.
Tawny has been shopping with her daughter. Find out how it went as she sings Pretty Woman.
It's a dance hit from Not Waving but Ironing, Evacuate the Dancefloor. Particularly it seems if she is on it!
Vic from Glowstars is spending her pretend millions in Rich Girl. It is nice to dream occasionally.
Now have Mummy Limited and her rendition of Sunday, Sunday by Blur. I really like her take on what Sunday should be about.
Everyone can join in with Insomniac Mummy with These Boots Were Made For Walking. And walk she will, and all for a great cause.
Finally, a late request from Linda and her treadmill. One Step Beyond is just the high note to finish on.
Right, I'm off to the dance floor. Who's with me?
Thank you all for taking to the stage, being brave and joining in. I have had a blast.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Just Vlog It - Family Fitness Fun
With everything going on, being ill, putting together the carnival for tomorrow I really didn't think that I would have time to enter this month's Just Vlog It competition. Then, at the last moment, whilst enjoying dinner this evening the men in my life started doing exercises! I just grabbed my Flip and caught it (oh my how much do I love my new Flip? Soooooo much) and with a bit of speedy and slightly rough editing I bring you our Family Fitness Fun:
Labels:
Just Vlog It,
Mr C,
Piran,
Vlog
Sunday, May 09, 2010
British Mummy Bloggers Carnival - call for posts
I am completely unable to comprehend where the first third of this year has gone. Not only is our little man nearly nine months old but it is very nearly my turn to host the BMB carnival. It seemed like so far in the future when I signed up last year, but here we are.
Cartside at Mummy do that! is hosting the current election themed carnival - do go and check it out.
My carnival will be held on the 11th May. The reason that I am posting so early is that I have a plan for a bit of a theme so I wanted you all to have time to join in! I have just one request:
All I need you to do is send me a link to a post either in the comments of this post, or to my email address (little email widget on the side) by midnight on the 9th May at the latest.
Cartside at Mummy do that! is hosting the current election themed carnival - do go and check it out.
My carnival will be held on the 11th May. The reason that I am posting so early is that I have a plan for a bit of a theme so I wanted you all to have time to join in! I have just one request:
All entries must have a song title as the post title.
All I need you to do is send me a link to a post either in the comments of this post, or to my email address (little email widget on the side) by midnight on the 9th May at the latest.
9 to 5
Well, actually 8.30 - 5, 2 days per week (Monday and Friday) but there isn't a song with that as the title.
I am going back to work. Not just yet, on the 5th July to be precise, but it isn't that long. I am sure that it will be here before I know it.
For months I have wanted to blog about how I felt about it all, what I was thinking. It is one of those areas that you really have to tread carefully isn't it online? I know that people at work know about this blog, I have no idea if they read it or not. But when everything was up in the air the last thing I wanted to do was ruin my chances by mentioning it on here. It has made me realise how much I rely on this blog to clear my head, to help me think. My jumbled, mixed up words clatter through the keyboard onto the screen and at the end I usually find some sort of clarity. I tried writing about it in my journal but it is not quite the same without an audience, sort of like talking to myself really.
Deciding to go back to work was not an easy decision for me. When I went on maternity leave I knew that if I didn't want to go back we would be able to manage with me as a stay at home mum. I was convinced that it would be what I wanted. I thought it would be the easiest decision I had ever made. Turns out I was wrong.
Part of me is reluctant to write this post. For two reasons. Firstly, my husband reads this blog occasionally. I think he knows most of this stuff but just in case I just want to say - don't read too much into this, I am fine and happy. I just want to write this down. Secondly, I want to say that I know how lucky I was to even have staying at home as an option. I do not take that lightly. I was convinced that I would give it all up for Piran.
But as he has got a little older I have realised some things about being a SAHM. It can be isolating and lonely. I didn't go to NCT, so I haven't had a group of mums to meet up with. We go to various classes, swimming, signing and I talk to the mums and dads there, but after an hour we all go our separate ways. I see my friend, Lovely Lady and her baby O who is 3 months younger than Piran, once a week for lunch. Once a month or so I pop over to Worthing for a bit of a 'tweet up' with some blogging / twitter friends and their babies. Other than that it is just Piran & I. He is super cute, but not exactly a riveting conversationalist so far!
None of my friends that live in the area have children. I see one friend every few weeks but I know we are drifting apart. Other friends live in London and getting together isn't that easy. My family and other friends are all in Cornwall. Leaving work made me realise that most of the friends I actually have are between those four walls.
So, when work contacted me and said that they would consider me working two days a week I jumped at the chance. I have no idea if I have made the right decision. I am worried about not being able to give work 100% - I am not going to be the same person I was before I had a baby. I will leave on time and take lunch breaks. I will not have the same dedication I had when I was building a career, I just can't. Going back will be hard. I have to watch someone else do my job, as part time hours have meant a different role for me. Will I be able to get my head down and just get on with it? I know I find it hard to not get involved.
Then there is Piran. I do worry about how he will settle in at nursery - he is not used to noise and lots of people. He is not used to other children. He is only used to being with us or his Grandparents. My MIL is going to look after him in the morning and he will go to nursery in the afternoon. Will she cope? However, despite all my concerns I am keen for Piran to go and socialise with other children. My lack of friends with children means that he is just surrounded by adults all the time. His cousins live in Cornwall, he only has one little friend that he sees regularly, so I hope it will be good for him. This was a real concern of mine and one that could only be solved by me going back to work and earning enough to send him to nursery. If I am honest it is one of the main reasons I am going back.
So there we have it. I am going back to work for the benefit of my social life, and Piran's! A bit backward perhaps but I know that I will enjoy all the perks that work has to offer - hot cups of tea, uninterrupted bathroom breaks, seeing my husband during the day (he works there too), reading a book at lunchtime, the feeling at the end of the day of actually accomplishing something - I have quite a list!
This is my submission for the BMB carnival that I am hosting on Tuesday - it is not too late to submit a post, just one condition, the title of the post must be a song title.
I am going back to work. Not just yet, on the 5th July to be precise, but it isn't that long. I am sure that it will be here before I know it.
For months I have wanted to blog about how I felt about it all, what I was thinking. It is one of those areas that you really have to tread carefully isn't it online? I know that people at work know about this blog, I have no idea if they read it or not. But when everything was up in the air the last thing I wanted to do was ruin my chances by mentioning it on here. It has made me realise how much I rely on this blog to clear my head, to help me think. My jumbled, mixed up words clatter through the keyboard onto the screen and at the end I usually find some sort of clarity. I tried writing about it in my journal but it is not quite the same without an audience, sort of like talking to myself really.
Deciding to go back to work was not an easy decision for me. When I went on maternity leave I knew that if I didn't want to go back we would be able to manage with me as a stay at home mum. I was convinced that it would be what I wanted. I thought it would be the easiest decision I had ever made. Turns out I was wrong.
Part of me is reluctant to write this post. For two reasons. Firstly, my husband reads this blog occasionally. I think he knows most of this stuff but just in case I just want to say - don't read too much into this, I am fine and happy. I just want to write this down. Secondly, I want to say that I know how lucky I was to even have staying at home as an option. I do not take that lightly. I was convinced that I would give it all up for Piran.
But as he has got a little older I have realised some things about being a SAHM. It can be isolating and lonely. I didn't go to NCT, so I haven't had a group of mums to meet up with. We go to various classes, swimming, signing and I talk to the mums and dads there, but after an hour we all go our separate ways. I see my friend, Lovely Lady and her baby O who is 3 months younger than Piran, once a week for lunch. Once a month or so I pop over to Worthing for a bit of a 'tweet up' with some blogging / twitter friends and their babies. Other than that it is just Piran & I. He is super cute, but not exactly a riveting conversationalist so far!
None of my friends that live in the area have children. I see one friend every few weeks but I know we are drifting apart. Other friends live in London and getting together isn't that easy. My family and other friends are all in Cornwall. Leaving work made me realise that most of the friends I actually have are between those four walls.
So, when work contacted me and said that they would consider me working two days a week I jumped at the chance. I have no idea if I have made the right decision. I am worried about not being able to give work 100% - I am not going to be the same person I was before I had a baby. I will leave on time and take lunch breaks. I will not have the same dedication I had when I was building a career, I just can't. Going back will be hard. I have to watch someone else do my job, as part time hours have meant a different role for me. Will I be able to get my head down and just get on with it? I know I find it hard to not get involved.
Then there is Piran. I do worry about how he will settle in at nursery - he is not used to noise and lots of people. He is not used to other children. He is only used to being with us or his Grandparents. My MIL is going to look after him in the morning and he will go to nursery in the afternoon. Will she cope? However, despite all my concerns I am keen for Piran to go and socialise with other children. My lack of friends with children means that he is just surrounded by adults all the time. His cousins live in Cornwall, he only has one little friend that he sees regularly, so I hope it will be good for him. This was a real concern of mine and one that could only be solved by me going back to work and earning enough to send him to nursery. If I am honest it is one of the main reasons I am going back.
So there we have it. I am going back to work for the benefit of my social life, and Piran's! A bit backward perhaps but I know that I will enjoy all the perks that work has to offer - hot cups of tea, uninterrupted bathroom breaks, seeing my husband during the day (he works there too), reading a book at lunchtime, the feeling at the end of the day of actually accomplishing something - I have quite a list!
This is my submission for the BMB carnival that I am hosting on Tuesday - it is not too late to submit a post, just one condition, the title of the post must be a song title.
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
The Gallery: Secret places
My gallery entry this week. Tara asked for our secret places. I am not feeling very well so have picked photos that are on my phone and written the post without having to get up. Ah, modern technology!
It's no secret how much I love this place. The place I still call home even though I moved away 10 years ago. It sits within my heart and calls me back on a regular basis. One day we will all move there. For now, I am happy just to know it is part of me. Hayle, Cornwall.


When I found these photos, I also found this one of Piran, that I took the first time I pushed him around Hayle to show him my favourite place. How much has he changed?

It's no secret how much I love this place. The place I still call home even though I moved away 10 years ago. It sits within my heart and calls me back on a regular basis. One day we will all move there. For now, I am happy just to know it is part of me. Hayle, Cornwall.


When I found these photos, I also found this one of Piran, that I took the first time I pushed him around Hayle to show him my favourite place. How much has he changed?

Saturday, May 01, 2010
9 months
Dear Piran,
You can now sit up with no problems at all. This picture was of you the first time I really felt confident to leave you sat up all by yourself. You were seven months old at the time. It made a lot of difference once you could sit up. You because happier and less frustrated straight away and the world opened up with games to play and things to do. You don't really ever topple anymore, although you have been known to dramatically throw yourself backwards if something displeases you, or you are hungry.
You were ill for the first real time when you were 7 months old, a week of being sick and lots of poo. Other than the projectile fluids I knew you were poorly because you spent days snuggled under a blanket on my lap having cuddles and snoozes. I happily sat on the sofa for days holding your hot, heavy body in my arms, hoping that you would be better soon but making the most of the fact that you needed me. You are such an independent little chap a lot of the time, happy to sit and play as long as you have your toys and something to chew on.
This was our first real visit to the park, we had a great time, even though you were just starting to get better from being poorly and the swings were great fun. You are a happy smiling baby a lot of the time, although recently you have developed a tendency to act a little shy, it soon wears off and you are smiling and flirting with everyone you see. Getting round the supermarket takes a long time as you make friends everywhere you go.
I had my very first Mother's Day with you. Unfortunately Daddy had to go away but you gave me a lovely present and we had a day full of fun and giggles and extra cuddles.
Your Daddy loves you very much and is enjoying taking you out and letting you watch him in his garden. He loves to push you about in your pushchair and spends lots of time trying to teach you to crawl.
You are not quite there yet, you hold yourself up on your arms and occasionally push yourself backwards but no crawling, or standing up at all yet. You seem quite happy with it all though and usually just sit on the floor. Your legs move constantly though - Dad calls you the running man. You learnt to clap your feet together two days ago and have done it constantly ever since. You roll all over the place, although I don't think you have yet realised that you could use it to get where you want to go.
You have seven teeth, and much more hair than three months ago which gets lighter every day. You have gorgeous cheeks that go bright red occasionally. You are 23lbs (still a big boy) and very tall - about 80cm I think, but it is hard to tell as you wriggle so much when I try to measure you.
You don't like cuddles in the evening anymore, as soon as you have finished your milk you cry at me as if to say "Put me down, I am tired and want to get to dreaming and sleeping" until I lay you in your cot. You grab your rabbit and put it on your face and then snore away. Some nights you sleep through from 7pm to 7am. Other you wake and I turn the sheep on and give you Rabbit and you go back to sleep. Other nights you cry and cry and we have to feed you. Other nights a 10 minute cuddle in our bed and after watching a bit of TV you go back to sleep. Some mornings start at 5am. The inconsistency of it all could very easily be used as a way of torturing people. It is worse than simple sleep deprivation, you never know what will happen!
You are taking your time with food. You will not eat anything we try to give you, on a spoon or handed to you. If I hold your food out for you to grab you place in down in front of you then pick it back up before taking a bite. You have your pincer grip but will only eat foods that you can bite, you never just pop something in your mouth. It has been very hard going but I offer you food at least twice a day, more recently and you are starting to eat more and more. You do try everything but seem to really like broccoli, cucumber, cheese, rice cakes and little crisps. You are not really a fan of water but we keep trying to get you to drink. You love your milk, and still have 4 x 8oz bottles every day.
Once a week you play with your friend O, and I chat to his Mummy. He is three months younger and you are both just starting to take an interest in each other. I really hope that you will be best pals when you are older. You don't have many other buddies but you start nursery two afternoons a week from next week so that will change. I am very nervous about you being away from me but I hope you have fun. You still love your swimming and Sing & Sign classes - you squeal and wave your arms and legs about it utter excitement when the singing starts and Jessie Cat sends you over the edge - you love pulling on her ears (luckily she is a stuffed cat!)
I am going back to work in a few months time. I think I will miss you a lot, but I also think that you need the company of other babies so you can make friends and we will still have time to go and see the penguins at the zoo as I will have two days at work, and three days with you. I love being with you, but I am lonely at times, and I miss my friends at work. If we don't like it I will think again but I have decided that we need to try it. I promise to try not to cry too much.
This is you today. My gorgeous boy. We played with bubbles for the first time, you looked surprised as they popped. I am enjoying all the firsts that you have in your life. I am excited about the new ones we have ahead of us. I cannot believe that we are now coasting towards you being one whole year old. I sit and stare at you and marvel at how amazing human beings really are, that your Dad and I made you, that I gave birth to you, that my body could give us such a truly amazing gift. You are developing your personality, becoming a person. I am proud of everything that you do. You make me a better person, I have more enthusiasm for life and the outdoors and everything in this world. I love being a mum. I cannot wait to teach you new things, and I am so excited to rediscover the world through your eyes.
Mum x
Another three months has passed in the blink of an eye and you are now 9 months old. All traces of the little newborn you once were have gone and now you are a baby - full of smiles and laughter and noise. A lot of noise. Constant chatter in fact, I have no idea where you get that from (Grandma perhaps?). You say da, dad, yea, ba, boo, la and all variations of the same. You love to blow raspberries all the time, it never stops! We have some great conversations you and I. Still no 'ma' or 'mama' yet, but that's okay. This way when you want something 'Dada' has to do it!
You can now sit up with no problems at all. This picture was of you the first time I really felt confident to leave you sat up all by yourself. You were seven months old at the time. It made a lot of difference once you could sit up. You because happier and less frustrated straight away and the world opened up with games to play and things to do. You don't really ever topple anymore, although you have been known to dramatically throw yourself backwards if something displeases you, or you are hungry.
You were ill for the first real time when you were 7 months old, a week of being sick and lots of poo. Other than the projectile fluids I knew you were poorly because you spent days snuggled under a blanket on my lap having cuddles and snoozes. I happily sat on the sofa for days holding your hot, heavy body in my arms, hoping that you would be better soon but making the most of the fact that you needed me. You are such an independent little chap a lot of the time, happy to sit and play as long as you have your toys and something to chew on.
This was our first real visit to the park, we had a great time, even though you were just starting to get better from being poorly and the swings were great fun. You are a happy smiling baby a lot of the time, although recently you have developed a tendency to act a little shy, it soon wears off and you are smiling and flirting with everyone you see. Getting round the supermarket takes a long time as you make friends everywhere you go.
I had my very first Mother's Day with you. Unfortunately Daddy had to go away but you gave me a lovely present and we had a day full of fun and giggles and extra cuddles.
Your Daddy loves you very much and is enjoying taking you out and letting you watch him in his garden. He loves to push you about in your pushchair and spends lots of time trying to teach you to crawl.
You are not quite there yet, you hold yourself up on your arms and occasionally push yourself backwards but no crawling, or standing up at all yet. You seem quite happy with it all though and usually just sit on the floor. Your legs move constantly though - Dad calls you the running man. You learnt to clap your feet together two days ago and have done it constantly ever since. You roll all over the place, although I don't think you have yet realised that you could use it to get where you want to go.
You have seven teeth, and much more hair than three months ago which gets lighter every day. You have gorgeous cheeks that go bright red occasionally. You are 23lbs (still a big boy) and very tall - about 80cm I think, but it is hard to tell as you wriggle so much when I try to measure you.
You don't like cuddles in the evening anymore, as soon as you have finished your milk you cry at me as if to say "Put me down, I am tired and want to get to dreaming and sleeping" until I lay you in your cot. You grab your rabbit and put it on your face and then snore away. Some nights you sleep through from 7pm to 7am. Other you wake and I turn the sheep on and give you Rabbit and you go back to sleep. Other nights you cry and cry and we have to feed you. Other nights a 10 minute cuddle in our bed and after watching a bit of TV you go back to sleep. Some mornings start at 5am. The inconsistency of it all could very easily be used as a way of torturing people. It is worse than simple sleep deprivation, you never know what will happen!
You are taking your time with food. You will not eat anything we try to give you, on a spoon or handed to you. If I hold your food out for you to grab you place in down in front of you then pick it back up before taking a bite. You have your pincer grip but will only eat foods that you can bite, you never just pop something in your mouth. It has been very hard going but I offer you food at least twice a day, more recently and you are starting to eat more and more. You do try everything but seem to really like broccoli, cucumber, cheese, rice cakes and little crisps. You are not really a fan of water but we keep trying to get you to drink. You love your milk, and still have 4 x 8oz bottles every day.
Once a week you play with your friend O, and I chat to his Mummy. He is three months younger and you are both just starting to take an interest in each other. I really hope that you will be best pals when you are older. You don't have many other buddies but you start nursery two afternoons a week from next week so that will change. I am very nervous about you being away from me but I hope you have fun. You still love your swimming and Sing & Sign classes - you squeal and wave your arms and legs about it utter excitement when the singing starts and Jessie Cat sends you over the edge - you love pulling on her ears (luckily she is a stuffed cat!)
I am going back to work in a few months time. I think I will miss you a lot, but I also think that you need the company of other babies so you can make friends and we will still have time to go and see the penguins at the zoo as I will have two days at work, and three days with you. I love being with you, but I am lonely at times, and I miss my friends at work. If we don't like it I will think again but I have decided that we need to try it. I promise to try not to cry too much.
This is you today. My gorgeous boy. We played with bubbles for the first time, you looked surprised as they popped. I am enjoying all the firsts that you have in your life. I am excited about the new ones we have ahead of us. I cannot believe that we are now coasting towards you being one whole year old. I sit and stare at you and marvel at how amazing human beings really are, that your Dad and I made you, that I gave birth to you, that my body could give us such a truly amazing gift. You are developing your personality, becoming a person. I am proud of everything that you do. You make me a better person, I have more enthusiasm for life and the outdoors and everything in this world. I love being a mum. I cannot wait to teach you new things, and I am so excited to rediscover the world through your eyes.
Mum x
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